listen up
by greeshus
Summary: a romantic expidition into the heart of the jungle the search for treasure makes han and lando rethink what the true treasure really is dont ask me questions cause i wont answer


INTRO: Jungle, Broad day

lando: "you know if you keep slashing those vines for no reason your machete will become dull, and then what if a tiger attacks us, what then?"

han: "ay are you STILL talking?"

lando: "i'm just saying, there's no reason to be destroying as much wildlife as you have"

han: "alright that's enough seriously, look it's right there i told you we'd find it"

after eight long hours of exploration

the two lads arrived at the ancient temple in the large clearing.

in the center of the temple was an extending staircase leading a vestibule at the peak

han: "see? there, this should be it, i dont see any other ancient temples around here"

lando: "the directions the old merchant gave us in exchange for MY gold ring, by the way, were right !"

han: "whats that I cant hear you" he said, as he was already halfway up the long staircase

as they arrived at the room at the top of the temple, the two couldnt help but notice how dark it was

the natural light from the entrance could only illuminate so much

the only thing they could clearly see were unlit torches hanging on the walls

han: "okay see clearly what we have to do is light these torches so we could see what the hells going on in here"

lando: "I dont have any firemaking tools on me, they were all lost when you threw my bag in the river out of anger earlier"

han: "yeah I know I was there you dont need to tell me"

lando: "well what are we going to do"

han: "im not gonna lie I still have a lit cigarette in my bag"

lando: "you kept that? I thought I told you to throw that out you know smokings bad for you"

han: "dont tell me how to live my life look just help lift me up so I can reach this torch"

lando lifted han up to reach the torch but it was slightly out of their reach still

han grabbed onto the torch to try to lift himself up for the last extra boost

but **suddenly** the torch moved out of the wall acting as a lever switch mechanism

and the floor caved in, han and lando tumbling into the abyss before them

they landed on top of each other, winded as all hell

when they finally got air back in their lungs and got up on their feet,

han noticed he was carrying the torch in his hand, it had come out of the sconce when they fell

han lit the torch with his personal cigarette lando doesnt need to know about

the torch lit up the room, and the two fine guys found themselves surrounded by intricate wall carvings

illustrations of the past indicating a rich history that they wont bother to learn about

the air was thick with dust, a serious fire hazard

lando: "han look at this, this inscription is missing a piece here, does this look familiar to you"

han: "ohhhh shit its in the exact shape of the talisman the old village man gave us"

lando: "in exchange for **my** watch, by the way,"

han placed the talisman into the indentation,

it was a perfect fit

suddenly the room started trembling as if there was an earthquake

and the wall opened up, revealing a long passage way in front of them

several bats flew out of the cave, prompting lando to stifle a freakout under his breath, cause he was really anxious and he did not want han to think he was scared

han could tell anyway and made fun of him, but in a good cute way, know what I mean

they continued down the passage, torch still in hand

the passage turned into a stairway, which led down further into the temple

the stairs were filled with treacherous traps which posed no actual threat to them cause if it did they would die and the fic would stop here and lets be real neither of us want that

they finally arrived at a large open room with some of the upper corners broken down, letting sunlight into the room

the sunbeam landed perfectly on the centerpiece of the room

a fountain with a statue in the middle

the statue depicted a woman holding a hand up to her face

from her ears flowed out a smooth stream of water which glistened in the light

lando: "ah ah ah we found it no way the fountain of youth we can stay young forever"

han: "im not gonna lie this isnt the fountain of youth this is the fountain that perfectly cures your hearing"

lando: "what? why would we want something like that"

han: "i got like really bad tinnitus, i barely heard anything on this trip over the sound of ringing"

lando: "ah ok thats pretty reasonable I just wish you were honest with me"

?: _"_ _reasonable indeed !"_ a third voice rang out in the room

the old man from the village emerged from the shadows

in his wrinkly hand was a loaded pistol aimed at lando

lando: "you! but why, old man ?"

lando cannot keep his cool in the face of a gun so he crumbles onto the floor and starts to cry

old man: "my whole life has been ruined by my poor hearing, so I knew I had to find out if the legend of this fountain was true. I used your ring and watch to pay for a ride to this temple to get here. Once you two are out of the way I will take take this water home with me and sell it and make a fortune, and then my online gf will love me back"

han frowned.

lando: "how did you know we would come here ?"

old man: "I heard you guys from a mile away, the water works that well"

han: "ahh yo that makes sense"

lando: "but are you really willing to kill both of us for these riches ? Can you live with that ?" he said, through tears

old man: "absolutely, no question about it, wouldn't think twice, definitely, no contest, without a doubt, for sure, yep-"

as he was listing more affirmations, han's nose became irritated by the dust in the air

he couldnt handle it anymore and let out a colossal sneeze

the sneeze blew the fire from the torch forward,

igniting the dust in the air

the fireball blew forward and consumed the old man

all that was left of him was a pile of ashes

han: "oh man"

han saw lando still crying on the floor, partly cause he was held at gunpoint, partly cause he saw a man get reduced to ashes before his eyes

han knelt down beside him and comforted him, giving him a kiss on the cheek

lando: "can we please get the hell out of here"

han: "i hear you loud and clear"

 **the ennd**


End file.
